Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Happily ever after

I'm outraged by this bizarre ritual. Im sure she is a manglik (Chowva Dosham). So to secure her life and her husband's long life she needs to be married to someone or something whose life weighs much lesser value than her would-be husband. I wonder how old these rituals are...especially the whole idea of horoscopes.
Im not sure if Rama, Laxmana, Arjuna, Krishna, all married after getting their horoscopes checked! As far as I know they all had "swayamvara" except Arjun who eloped with his lady love, Subhadra. I'm not really sure about Krishna, but I am highly skeptical about his weddings being grounded on horoscope compatibility though. In swayamvara, the girl always picked her groom from a bunch of hunks (or not so hunks) who tried to impress her. So the men had to toil his way into the woman's heart and Im sure it paved way to a lot of mutual respect and love. After all, lifting and stringing a heavy and hefty bow did take substantial skill... So did living in disguise (Arjuna) to win over a girl..
So when our own Gods married on love, why are we so reluctant. Shouldn't we be more prudent and dump such superstitions far behind us where they belong.
This girl-dog wedding happened in some remote village in Jharkhand state. But well educated and successful families in urban India are equal culprits in promoting such practices. Now things get to a whole new level if the girl is dark skinned too. Now thats a real challenge to the already worried parents of a Manglik girl. ( I dont even want to go there now). I think its high time we crawl ourselves out of ridiculous fallacies. How about we bring back the Swayamvara system where after the initial background check by parents ( ofcourse, we have to keep the robbers, molesters and thugs away) , the prospective grooms portray their skills to win over the girl. The girl then chooses the most impressive one. Wouldn't that be something!!!
PS: I am a manglik and did face some side effects... But I am lucky that my parents didn't make a marry a tree or a dog and I married a loving and judicious guy who is equally or more appalled by horoscopes than me.

Sunday, February 15, 2015


Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho, first book I have read in almost 5 years. I just realized how much I missed reading. I also happened to watch the movie "Queen" yesterday. Both the movie and the book are kind of old now and I must be among the last few of my Indian friends to read this book and watch the movie.
Both are about a girl's adventure in a foreign city. But how it turns out for Rani and Maria are waaay different from each other. ( I still haven't finished the book). But while I watched Queen, I had so many questions linger in my heart.
I think Rani represents 80% (or more) of Indian girls. So what if Rani (or this Indian girl) wasn't from a rich family and could not afford a trip to Paris by herself? Or what if her honeymoon was planned for Taj Mahal or the backwaters of Kerala instead of Paris? Wouldn't she have had a whole different experience. Would she have ever stayed in a hostel with other men and had a chance to be independent. She might have stayed with her distant cousins or aunties who would immediately try to find her another prospective groom. (after all she had to get married before the guy now). Okai, say she had tickets to Paris, but if her parents were too conservative to let her travel by herself, they probably would have traveled with her in which case, she would have returned the same emotionally troubled girl with low self esteem. Would Vijay have ever called her then??? Or would she still be checking her phone every 2 mins for his message.
Now even if she had gone by herself, what if she had never met the extroverted helpful friend Vijayalaxmi, who had an Indian father. In that case, wudn't she have just ended up lonely and depressed in the most beautiful and romantic city, trying to run away from the Eiffel Tower. Given, all this went well, what if she would have ended up in a hostel without a cheerful Japanese roommate and two handsome well behaved men. Instead if she would have ended up with one guy, who tries to feel her up when she slept, would it have ruined the whole trip for her??? She would return ashamed and blamed by all for her incautious journey to trouble.
If nothing would have worked out right for Rani ( or the girl she represents) , would she have ended up marrying the same guy who dumped her for status, or another guy who would or would not be different from him (Vijay). I do not know the answers to any of this. For everyone who loved the movie, I wonder how many would actually dare to take a journey like her or how many parents would trust their daughters to such a trip. I think we are so self engrossed in our societal norms that we will applaud the movie and blow whistles when Rani returns the ring to Vijay, but return to our deep rooted believes of how an Indian woman should behave, learn to make chai, get a degree and get married to a well qualified boy. For us, the path to self discovery, self appreciation and love in Indian women are all for the movies and not practical for our well calculated, pre planned (by who knows who) and so called pragmatic life.
Nevertheless, like many other Indian girl who was never brave to be like Rani, I too liked the movie!!! Hoping that my Indian daughter will grow up to be the Queen I never dared to be!