Red Sympathy blooms

I planted these red roses in my front yard 2 years ago. I planted 3 other different variety roses with this one, but this was my favorite. Every spring since I planted them, I consistently checked on them, watered them, fertilizered them and waited for a full bloom; but in dismay. While my other roses bloomed in hundreds, this one thwarted my wish, only occasionally giving me 5-6 roses here and there.

With so much going on this spring, I never payed attention to my roses. Never gave them a drop of water; but look what happened. They bloomed better than I had ever imagined, more beautiful than I had expected. These photos don't do any justice to how beautiful they are. They are blood red, not pink as it looks here. There isn't even a bud on my other roses, probably because I didn't trim them in time.

Look at this one. Looks like this plant wanted to bring me some color amidst all the drab.  But the whole time I paid attention, it disappointed me, but when I stepped back, it made me happy. This is probably what some relationships need too, less attention from me to bloom! 

May be it is just a pity bloom, the roses feeling sorry for me; Do not know, but I like to believe that unlike people, these roses really love me. They didn't come to me when I wanted them, but they did when I needed them! Wish us people were so considerate. 

Ninte Matrom Moideen!

When I was asked to join them for the movie "Ninte Matrom Moideen" today, I was very reluctant at first. I knew the story line and that it was a true story. I wasn't sure if I was ready for romantic tragedy with a dead hero and a shattered heroine. Moreover, I had kind of convinced myself that the unrealistic portrayal of unconditional and selfless love and romance is only a tale of movies. But it all changed today. I had started to convince myself that living with strong emotions is synonyms to living in a fools paradise. (I stopped writing this post here somewhere in November r whenever the movie was released)

(Starting again on 3/25/2016). But I loved the movie, made me believe in love once again. It was breath of fresh air to think that these kind of love which makes one do crazy, unrealistic things still exist. I do disagree with a lot of things though. I think they could have married. I think Moideen was more interested in his political life and what not than Kanjanamala, whose love is another form of madness. In fact, love is a form of madness. I am wondering when it would made it into the Diagnostic Manual of Mental disorders. Bereavement is already in there. Coming back to the topic, 25 years is too long, no matter what. I am sure there could have been one day in those 25 years, after all of Kanjanamala's sisters got married when he could have just taken her away and loved her the way she deserved to be loved. I feel for Kanjanamala, Moideen left her incapacitated, unable to love anyone else. I am sure she would meet all the criteria for a mental disorder. Her behavior is nothing, but abnormal, loving and living for a man who was full of excuses (the psychology student in me speaking). At the same time, what is love if not a disorder that fails all treatments (the romantic in me speaking).
One question remains, Would we ever want our daughter to be a Kanjanamala? I don't know about me, may be anyone would read this ( probably noone), have an answer better than mine.

First Love

We all love a lot of people in our lives, parents,relatives,friends,teachers etc,..etc... But I am not talkng about that love here.I am talking about the intimate romantic relationship we gift only a few with.I feel love is one of the most spiritual and intense feelings of all.Again its not the infatuation of the 13 year old im talking about.We all have had that kind of crushes at some point in our lives.But consider the feeling when we really fall in love with a person for the first time in our life.Those shy moments,exchange of secret glimpses and that fear of confessing the love.I think the real feel of all these is attained only when we fall in love for the first time ever.Later,in all our other relations even if these feelings would exist, still there would be lack of that spark we felt the first time.Im not saying that we wouldn't be able to love anyone else.We certainly can.But i think there would be lesser number of butterflies in our stomach this time we get a proposal.But we would be able to be more attached to another person who would be able to shower us with more love and care than the first one..All our past relations might fade away eventually,but not our first true love ever.Whatever would be the reason of the break up, our first love would always be sheltered at some silent corner of our heart even if all it left us with was sorrow and pain.Even we might not realize it most of the time.But there would be certain point in all our lives, when it just peeks its head out from there and remind us of their existance.Now I am not sure how many actually agree with me.But i feel if u r not reminded of such a relation, then may be it might not have had completely qualified for the position of "First True Love".I come from that part of the world where fallng in love is not considered a very desirable act.Not that not body falls in love there.But the circumstances and society prefer it the other way and its not always that people get chances to mingle enough so as to fall in love unless they stay away from their homes for studies or job.We rarely have love marriages.So under these situations i really consider love,true love a very sacred feeling which connects hearts and being dumped as one of the most hurtful feelings which affects one's self esteem highly.Still first love is like that rose petal u left inside your school text book.Even after years that faded its beauty, u still like it and dont possibly have the heart to throw it away even when thats what your brain wants you to do.